PLEASE REBLOG. According to CNN there are 53 nations under tsunami warning. That includes Australia, Japan, and Philippines.
(via ryanoncesaid)
February 2010
A father, explaining "sex" to his son.
bata: Bakit po masarap ang sex?
tatay: Kasi may kiliti o sensation iyon na katulad ng nararamdaman mo kapag nangungulangot ka.
bata: Bakit mas nasasarapan po ang mga babae kaysa sa mga lalaki?
tatay: Gaya ng sinabi ko, ang sex ay parang pangungulangot. Kapag nangungulangot ka, mas nag-eenjoy ang iyong ilong kaysa sa iyong daliri.
bata: Eh bakit po ayaw ng mga babae na ginagahasa sila?
tatay: Iyang pang-gagahasa ay mahahalintulad sa naglalakad ka sa kalye, tapos may lumapit sa’yo at kinalikot ang iyong ilong. Magugustuhan mo ba iyon?
bata: Bakit ayaw po makipag-sex ng mga babae kapag may regla sila?
tatay: Anak, kapag dinudugo ilong mo, nangungulangot ka ba?
bata: Bakit ayaw po madalas, ayaw ng mga lalaki ang mag-condom?
tatay: Ikaw ba gusto mo mangulangot ng naka-surgical gloves?
bata: Bakit po sa private place ginagawa ang pagse-sex?
tatay: Mangungulangot ka ba sa harapan ng buong klase mo, ha?
___
"The wRong numBer"
Man calls home.
Maid answers phone.
He says, “Can I speak to my wife?”
She says, “No, she’s upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.”
He says, “Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both.”
Being the loyal maid, she says, “Ok.” 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, “Ok, they’re both dead. What should I do with the bodies?”
He says, “Throw them in the pool, and I’ll take care of them when I get home.”
She says, “We don’t have a pool.”
He asks, “Is this 555-1234?”
*HAHA
SCORPIO
SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want.. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring..
**
nice. :)
.........
(a while ago…)
_WHAT TIME?_
ME : jpoy, ano oras imu exam buwas?!
JPOY : dre ako maaram.
ME : ano oras imo exam buwas?!
JPOY : anxa la ghap.
ME: ano ngani nga oras?!
JPOY : kay may flag ceremony pa kmi.
ME : P*ste! ano ngani nga oras?!!!
JPOY : ahw.. alas siete..
=» yaik ito, haha. napamulay anay.. :p
<after 30 minutes..>
_AMBULANCE_
(JPOY running toward my room)
JPOY : (yelling) ATE! dako gad ada an sunog.
ME : kynu?
JPOY : 3 na nga AMBULANCE an umagi.
*** har! adik ak bugto! malulurong nku. haha..
;p
